


idiocy and love

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Boys In Love, Fluff, Group chat, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Clyde insists on helping Kenny to confess and win the heart of his crush, without knowing who exactly it is in the first place (not without dragging Craig, Token and Tweek into it too however). Things don't turn out the way he expected.





	idiocy and love

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this is my second fanficton with a group chat (set in a different verse to my first one). Hopefully they aren't too out of character.

 

" _You? You're willing to help me?"_

Clyde Donovan, one of the 'popular' kids at school, insisted that he'd help Kenny (known as an absolute vulgar  _Sex God_ ) confess to his secret crush. Now, this wasn't exactly a crime but it was certainly a mistake to accept help from someone like Clyde. No, he wasn't exactly a bad guy, even managing to be close friends with Craig fucking Tucker (which was a huge achievement believe it or not). However, Kenny here was desperate and would take any chance to get help from someone who's previously been in relationships. It's not like he had any other choice. Kyle was rather disgusted by relationships now that he thought of it. He didn't blame him though, with Stan being his best friend and having the most shitty on and off relationship with Wendy. Meanwhile, Cartman was just out of the question.

"Mhm! Trust me, Bebe or whoever will be falling for you in seconds." ...Well, it's his own fault for not specifying that it was in fact Butters he was crushing on. He's not gonna tell him though, not yet at least. He was sure he'd find out himself anyway, secrets never go untold at South Park. Kenny smirked to himself, after this was all over, he and Butters would climb to the top of the talk being South Park's newest gay couple. How hard could it be, confessing love? ...Alright, if it was so easy, he wouldn't be resorting to ask for advice from fucking Clyde. Yes, yes, Kenny was a master of seduction but... this was different. Butters was different from a random hot guy or girl he managed to get into his bed. 

Kenny thought about his offer some more before smiling half-lidded. "Sure, whatever then. What's the plan?" God he actually agreed to this. There was no turning back now. Clyde was going to somehow help Kenny confess his undying love to Butters. He prayed for success.

*** * ***

_**`` clyde donovan has added kenny mccormick to fuck you clyde``** _

 

 **clyde** : was that u who changed the title craig

 **craig**  : wait

 **craig** : no. no. no. why the  _fuck_ is that  _thing_ here

 **kenny** : hi

 **tweek** : oH HELLO? WHO?

 **kenny** : kenny ;)

 **craig** :clyde u better start explaining

 **craig** : i am  _not_ gonna deal with this bullshit

 **token** : Clyde, this was our friend circle only gc

 **clyde** : relax! relax! he's only here temporarily

 **craig** : how long?

 **kenny** : my dick? it's 10 inches

 **tweek** : cLYDE 

 **craig** : this is not ok, he's making tweek uncomfortable

 **craig** : kick him out

 **craig** : he's not innocent

 **kenny** : well no shit tucker

 **craig** : stfu mccormick

 **token** : Continue, Clyde?

 **clyde** : ok ok so, he needs our help to confess his love

 **craig** : no. we aren't doing this

 **tweek** : WOW, LOVE? he needs our help!? i wouldn't mind

 **craig** : ok we're here to help you mccormick

 **kenny** : nice

 **clyde** : Alright so, i was thinking pick up lines

 **craig** : did you look them up on the internet

 **clyde** : Yes

 **token** : This is hopeless

 **craig** : okay, listen up u fucking std, i might as well contribute 

 **tweek** : TOO HARSH CRAIG 

 **clyde** : I LOST MY TEDDY BEAR, CAN I SLEEP WITH YOU INSTEAD?

 **token** : Wait, Clyde, I think we all agreed that pick-up lines arent gonna help

 **clyde** : HEY GIRL IS YOUR NAME WI-FI BECAUSE I THINK WE HAVE A CONNECTION

 **kenny** : oh my god

 **craig** : clyde

 **craig** : we have a genuine friendship right now

 **craig** : don't fucking make me break it

 **token** : I am losing more brain cells than when I was taught by Mr. Mackey 

 

**`` _kenny mccormick has left fuck you clyde ``_**

 

 **clyde** : ARE YOU A SEA LION? BECAUSE I WANT TO SEA U LION IN MY BED LATER

 **clyde** : oh

 **clyde** : he's gone

 **craig** : clyde

 **clyde** : Yeah?

 **craig** : we are no longer friends 

  *** * ***

Never again. Never again was he going to accept Clyde's 'help'.

Kenny roughly slammed his food on the table, having chosen to sit by himself for today. He felt absolutely hopeless at this point. Maybe he should just give up, it's not like he needed a relationship to live his life. It would certainly make it better though, knowing that the angel known as Butters was all his. He'd never let him go, he'd never let him fly away from him. Damn it, he shouldn't be thinking about such thoughts, food looked awful today as usual too so eating didn't fill his thoughts either. He'll quit this mini quest of love, he had better things to do (not really).

"Kenny? Mind if I, uh, sit here? You looked lonely." He heard the voice of his angel, immediately looking up into his sky blue orbs after flinching. Yep, they still hypnotized him. "Don't mind. Er, _I_ don't mind. At all." Kenny awkwardly responded, moving his tray a little more towards him so Butters had more space. The smaller boy just smiled, gladly sitting down opposite of him.

He was wearing blue again today, it matched and conplimented his eyes. He looked rather fidgety too, just as nervously expressioned as him. One could say a little more, in fact. Kenny noticed that he wasn't looking at him, his gaze switching between focusing on his food to a random corner of the room. He was indeed nervous and the silence between them was getting rather awkward.

"K-Kenny, gee I'm sorry for stuttering, but is it okay if I ask what's been troubling you these past few days?"

Yes, Butters had noticed his stressed behaviour. He smiled to himself at the thought of Butters watching him with those big cute eyes of his. Ah, he appreciated his concern too of course.

"Don't apologise. It's... rather silly anyway, I'm fine."  

"Please tell me!"

"I'm in love." Shit. He hadn't meant for that to come out. He just couldn't say no to Butters begging, it was too much - too cute - for him to handle.

"In love? Hamburgers Kenny! That's great, not silly at all!" The things this boy did to his heart, oh boy. He can't take much more of this, he expected him to leave the moment he confessed that. Kenny, known for only one night stands and breaking hearts a day into a relationship, was in love. _Actually_ in love. With someone so pure, so angellic, he wasn't worthy.

"But I don't know how to tell it to them... It's not as if they're even gonna feel the same mutual love too, I just really need to get it off my chest. Plus, I'm Kenny-"

"If I was that person, I wouldn't reject you that quickly." What? Did he just hear that correctly? Did Butters just... he's not hearing things right? This isn't some dream? Butters finally looked at him with soothing, warm eyes. His gaze could cure all the pain in the World. Kenny's World. 

"Just... be Kenny. Tell them without holding back, hold them by their hands if you must, whatever it takes for them to know you're serious!" Passion was clear in his tone, his words of encouragment reaching out to him. Kenny felt warmth. 

He's gonna go for it, that's what he'll do. 

He suddenly reached out to clutch Butters' hands once he had let go of his spoon. Kenny smirked at his surprised expression, ignoring it and looking back at him deeply with his own sapphire gaze. He had no regrets, no more hesitant feelings about doing this. This was the time he'd take Butters' advice.

"Then... I love you."

As soon as those three words left out of his mouth for Butters to slowly take in, he could see his face dusting from pink to deep scarlet, all the way to the tips of his ears. He had never seen someone blush so much, thrilled that it was Butters and that it was he himself who caused it. Actually, he was growing a little concerned at the fact Butters wasn't uttering a single word.

Oh well, it's not like he needed to say anything. Kenny knew from that reaction that the feeling was mutual. Damn, when did he get so confident? 

"Your house? Tonight? We can talk then." And so, he let go of his quivering hands, leaning over the table to peck his pale soft lips before standing up to leave, a satisfied smile failing to wash off of his face. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, Ily!! If this didn't reach your expectations, I apologise, this is really self-indulgent and I rushed the ending.


End file.
